dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
