How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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