Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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