I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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