Fine. I'll sleep in my office
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
