Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize