All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
