Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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