this will be a night to untag.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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