is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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