and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
