Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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