Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
