I wanna bring you to show and tell
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
