No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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