watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
