A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
