They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
