At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just found puke in my bra..
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
