Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
