I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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