i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
