Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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