My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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