even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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