So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
