Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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