why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize