I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
40s are totally the cure
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
