I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
