You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize