ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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