Rock
Scissors
Fuck
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
