You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
