I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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