I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
