my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
