Just mADE A PArabola og urine
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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