Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
