Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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