Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
