I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
