STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
