your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
