But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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