apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
