She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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