she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
