I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
