Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
