You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
