I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
