I'm drive I can fine osifer
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
