Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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