Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
