MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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