So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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