just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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